So Much for my Happy Ending
by Aslan'sWhiteWitch
Summary: To spare Sakura's feelings Sasuke kept his relationship a secret, but now he's getting married.  Will Sakura ever open her heart to another, or will fear of rejection rule her? SakuX? New chapter and small edits.
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing, but my thoughts, and ideas.**

**This first chapter is an overview of what has happen in recent years.**

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**Sasuke's POV**

My name is Sasuke Uchiha; sole heir to the Uchiha clan, and the last of my kind. I am also a ninja and second generation sannin. However if you were to ask others, they would brand me deserter and traitor; and they would be correct.

I went AWOL and betrayed the people of Konohagakure. I also hurt the people I let get close to me, my team cell seven. Where others had written me off, Sakura and Naruto belief in me was unwavering. They would have realigned the stars and move all the constellations, if they believed it would bring me home. I was trying to spare them the dim path I was going down. Where I was going they weren't meant to follow, but they followed anyway.

Naruto is my rival, my brother, my friend. I admit I was jealous of how strong he was becoming while my progress was at a stand-still. Even though I tried to kill him, he was openly leading the rescue mission to save me, from myself. Naruto is also a neo-sannin, and how he pulled that off is still anybody's guess, considering he does most things by sheer luck. I guess being the son of the Forth Hokage has its' benefits. And an endless amount of chakra donated by the Kyuubi is a definitely a plus. Yet, those things don't matter when he is fighting for someone he cares about. Naruto would fight as long as there is breath in his body. He taught me that it didn't matter how much training you may seek, if you didn't have anyone to protect your training is useless. Of course if he was to ever found out I uttered those words; I would deny any knowledge of it.

Sakura, my number one fan girl turn, super kunoichi changed the most out of everyone. Sakura's had always been the smartest of the group, but during the years she trained under Lady Tsunade, her fighting skill alone now rivals Anko's. Her medical skills have surpassed that of her mistress, giving her the title of sannin as well. Sakura was always there for all of us, no matter how late or tired she'd be, she made time for all her friends. Sakura always took care of us; 'her boys'. She would give and give, and we'd take it never offering anything in return. She gave us her love and unconditional support, until she had nothing left to give except life its self, and she did.

That faithful day three years ago, had been building for years. For me that day was bound to come to pass every since I saw Itachi take the life of our parents. The one the called Leader a.k.a Pein, his partner Konan, and the one who was truly pulling the strings of the mighty organization Madara Uchiha were also there. Yes, an Uchiha was the author of the heinous and insidious plot.

On that day, I had barely managed to kill Itachi. He and I gave it our all that day, and in the end we both lay facing each other. As he lay dying, he thanked me for the fight he had been looking for to test his true capacity. Naruto had defeated Pein a guy who had never lost a fight before. Sakura took on Konan. Konan was much stronger than Sakura, but Sakura was much smarter than the woman. She out thought the female Akatsuki member, which proves brains are better than brawn. The rest of Akatsuki had been taken out by my 'team', Konoha nin, or Sand, save Madara. He took it upon himself to destroy Naruto and myself personally. He had all the tailed beast except the one he desired most, and Naruto was easy picking since he went beyond his limits with Pein. I couldn't help him either, but Sakura could.

Madara didn't take too much interest in Sakura, which left her open to perform the forbidden jutsu of Genesis. Tsunade's rebirthing jutsu could only be used to heal the user of the jutsu. Sakura put her own spin on it so it could heal others. She healed more than half of Naruto wounds, and not only that she pushed herself over and beyond her limits, to heal me.

I saw Sakura fall and thought her to be dead, which lit a flame within. Finally the wheel of fire was lit inside of me. Naruto and I were able to rise to the challenge and stood victorious over the beast. As for Sakura she had a long road to recovery. The Genesis jutsu shortens the user's life span up to five years, and Sakura used it twice back to back. Sakura gave part of her life so the rest of the world could live. The Konoha's wheel of fire truly burns deep within her.

While surrounding shinnobi nations gave Naruto and me all the praises, we knew as well as others that Sakura was the one who truly deserved such praises. She had always stood in our shadows, but her greatest reward was having her 'boys' back.

While the praises came in, so did a punishment. My punishment was nothing I couldn't handle. Perhaps the hardest part of all of this was addressing Sakura's feelings toward me. Karin was no longer an issue. Sakura had killed Karin for her betrayal towards me. Apparently she lusted after my brother as well. It was no secret to anyone how Sakura felt about me. She knew me better than any female in the village. She had seen my best and my worst moments. She was there to provide shade, and shelter me from my demons. Everyone saw this, and everyone thought it was only a matter of time.

I wasn't even sure if I did love Sakura, beyond friendship. I know I was capable of loving her, and she deserved to have me. No one fought harder than she and Naruto. Plus she waited for me. While all the other fan girls moved on, she held firm. She turned down every guy who asked her out. See Sakura didn't just hone ninja skills, she had grown into a beautiful young woman.

So I made the decision to give Sakura her heart's desire, yet before I could reach Sakura; she happened. It's strange how a simple meeting could blossom into a kiss, and that kiss turned to love. The day I was supposed to tell Sakura turned into to weeks, weeks to months. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be me and Sakura. We didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. We felt guilt. We both knew how much Sakura, loved me, but we couldn't stay away from one another.

We have been dating in secret for over a year and a half now. Today I finally popped the question to her, and she accepted. All I had to do now was tell everyone. After she left she went to tell her parents, is when reality hit me. It would be the hardest thing I ever had to do. I was going to watch her cry, scream, and break. I was going to have to cause pain again, and this time the pain couldn't be repaired.

My name is Sasuke Uchiha and I'm going to break Sakura's heart.

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**I Hope you enjoy this, I really do. PLEASE REVIEW.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto. **

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It was noon in Konoha, but for Kakashi it was early. Leaping at a rapid pace over roof tops racing to the meeting destination Sasuke choose. He had sent him an urgent message to meet with him. One thing Sasuke didn't do was exaggerate, or over emphasis things. An urgent message sent by the Uchiha meant life, and death.

Making it to the clearing, he saw Sai also leaping from the trees, and Naruto already standing impatiently glaring at Sasuke, who paid him no attention. 'Some things never change,' he thought.

Sasuke sensed them landing in the clearing. In his mind, he had already prepared himself for the fallout with the guys. Naruto loved Sakura, and would dismember anyone who hurt her. Sai also cared for Sakura. She slowly helped him regain his some of his humanity, and helped him with his budding emotions. Yet, their fury failed in comparison to Kakashi's. Kakashi would invoke the wrath of every god known to man, on one's who hurt his surrogate daughter. He just hoped they understood.

Turning to face his male teammates, shamefaced, he felt a terrible guilt weighing down upon his shoulders.

"Wait, where's Sakura?" Naruto asked, making Sasuke's shoulders sag, even more at Naruto's question; making him feel even worse about the whole messy affair.

"She's not coming," answering Naruto's question about the gem of team seven. "Besides this meeting has a lot to do with her."

He could already see he had Kakashi's and Naruto's full attention at the mere mention of her name. Taking a breath he saw their anxious looks on their faces. He knew there was no easy way out of this, and he wasn't about to hide this any longer. He loved 'her' and was damn well going to shout it too the world. He just needed them to be there for Sakura, when her world comes crashing down upon her.

"You all know I'm not one for small talk."

Naruto snorted at the obvious fact. Shooting the whisker faced man a glare, he continued. "The easiest way to tell you is to just say it." Taking a calming breath, he looked at them squarely. "I'm getting…married."

Immediately Naruto's grin spread widely and chuckled. He started congratulating Sasuke. His congratulation included phrases as 'You and Sakura decided to skip the whole dating thing, and it's about time.'

Sasuke did nothing but kept his eyes trained on Kakashi, as if expecting the man to attack. He saw he had already figured it out while Naruto was slower on the uptake. He could tell Sai also knew something was amiss, by the puzzling look that graced his face.

'If he was going to marry Sakura why wouldn't they tell us together?' Sai's thought. His thoughts were broken by a liquid steel voice asking Sasuke just whom had he planned to marry.

Everyone's attention was now on the copy ninja. "If you were planning to marry Sakura she'd be here."

Sasuke felt a small chill run down his spine, as Kakashi regarded him with coolness. Yet it was his one visible eye that made him feel like prey; just waiting for his predator to strike.

Naruto stepped back from Sasuke. "That's right she'd be the first to tell us."

Sasuke looked at Naruto's masculine, but child like sad blue eyes. They were filled with disappointment, something he hoped to never see again from his best friend.

"Why Sasuke?" Naruto asked. "Do you know this will kill her?"

"Naruto, I never wanted to hurt Sakura, but I can't keep pretending that there's no one else in my life."

"Your not be fair to Sakura." Naruto snarled

"Your right I haven't been fair to Sakura, or myself. It isn't fair that I continue put my life on hold, for her sake, and continue to let her believe in a dream that now has no chance." Sasuke ran this argument in his head at least a hundred times, justifying his every action. He truly never wanted to hurt Sakura again; Naruto had to know that. The girl spat blood for him, and gave him life when he was at death's door.

Kakashi's blood simmered to an all time high, but Sasuke had a point. 'You can't make someone love you, and I have no right to tell Sasuke he couldn't love anyone else besides Sakura.'

Kakashi had thought Sasuke's lighten moods and more talkative nature was due to Sakura's ministration. Apparently, this other woman was able to tend to his wounded heart. 'Damn it.' Kakashi thought. 'I just wished Sakura didn't love him so wholeheartedly.'

"So who is she?" Sai wondered. When had the great Uchiha started dating someone?

Sasuke brooding eyes snapped to life as he thought of his love. Even the saddened Naruto noticed the change in his best friend's demeanor.

"You know how they say opposites attract. Well Ino and I have been dating for the last year and a half," He answered."

Sai scowled at Sasuke's choice in female. Ino was a beauty and after many years, her annoying nature matured, but still it was Ino.

"Wow, her best friend that should go over well. You break the heart of a woman who has loved you for years, and go out with her best friend behind her back. Great going Uchiha, why not put a kunai through her heart, and get it over with," Sai popped off sarcastically.

Under the heavy scrutiny of Sai's scathing remarks, Sasuske's eyes wondered around for someone who understood he didn't set out to do this intentionally.

"Sasuke," Kakashi started being a voice of reason among the group; when he wanted nothing more than to just wring Sasuke's neck. "You could have handled this better."

"I was trying to spare her feeling." Sasuke countered.

Kakashi narrowed his visible eye. "Were you?" he argued back. "Spare her how? The way I see it, you chose to hide, letting Sakura still think that she had a chance. Now you say you're getting married, completely blindsiding Sakura. Sparing her Sasuke no, you may have very well killed any chance she ever had at becoming happy."

Kakashi words rang truth in his ears. Sasuke now saw he was in error. Indeed the news would blindside Sakura especially since the engagement will be announced in the Society section of Konoha News, on tomorrow. He shouldn't have hid his relationship. He should have given her time to get use to it, so she could finally let go of her feelings for him. Now she'll be humiliated, and talked about. Everyone knew her feelings for me. He had truly lead the lamb to the slaughter.

Kakashi could see Sasuke understood the ramifications, of his actions now. His usual cold onyx eyes could now see beyond his own ambition. He thought after the whole Itachi fiasco, Sasuke would be beyond thinking only of himself. Apparently, he still had a way to go, with his people skills.

Turning to leave Sasuke called after him. "Kakashi I'll be the one to tell Sakura."

"I know. No one here will do it for you."

Sasuke looked at the men of team seven, he knew they didn't hate him, just disappointed the way he handled things. But mainly they felt a great swell of pity for the cherry blossom. Yet he couldn't stand the silent treatment he was now getting. It was irony in his view.

"Naruto?"

"Sasuke you're my best friend, but if Sakura can't get through this, I'll still be your friend. But I can't forgive you." Naruto shook his head. "Not this time." Sasuke broke Sakura's heart before. He couldn't let it slide a second time.

"Excuse me, but I must clear Sakura's home of objects she can use to harm herself." Kakashi said looking pointedly at Sasuke. Sasuke knew it was time for him to leave as well, if he lingered any longer Kakashi would probably maim him. Besides, he had to tell Sakura before tonight was over. With those thoughts, Sasuke left the three men standing.

"Kakashi? Sakura wouldn't really hurt herself, would she?" Naruto asked.

"I don't know Naruto. In this situation, I don't know. But I know that harder you love someone the faster you fall, when you find that person doesn't love you back."

Kakashi vanished after the words spilt forth from his lips, leaving Naruto and Sai to plan how to take care of Sakura.

TenTen and Hinata stared slack jawed at Ino, as if she sprouted another head. TenTen was the first to recover.

"Congratulations, I'll visit the cemetery everyday, after Sakura stumps a mud hole in your ass."

"Ino…" TenTen was at a loss for words. The blonde had just announced to them that she and Sasuke were engaged, and poor Hinata was still in shock.

"Look TenTen, I understand what this means, but believe me I didn't plan this."

TenTen looked at Ino astonished by her lack of fear of Sakura's wrath. "Well if you think that excuse will fly with Sakura, then by all means you have my blessing."

Ino knew this wouldn't go over smoothly, how could it. In a way she was betraying her best friend, but Sakura had no official claim on Sasuke, more like unofficial. She was happy for once in her life, but she felt guilt for falling in love with the object of her best friend's affection.

TenTen wanted to be happy for her friend, but the thought of how Sakura will react, clouded that happiness. "Ino how did this happen?"

Ino had begun a story of how she and Sasuke came to be. By the end Hinata was misty eyed, and TenTen understood how the brooding Uchiha could fall for their loud mouth friend, but that still left the issue of Sakura.

"Poor Sakura," Hinata finally saying something.

"Yeah," Ino said seconding Hinata's motion. "It's the only thing that sucks about this situation." Ino said taking a drink from her glass.

Speaking of Sakura, she just walked through the door. She approached the table, still in her scrubs from the hospital beaming a stunning smile.

"Guys try to act normal. Sasuke wants to tell Sakura himself," she whispered as Sakura strolled to the table.

"Hey sorry I'm late, paper work." Sakura said plopping down next to Hinata.

"No problem." they all said trying not to be obvious. The three females forced smiles on their faces. Ino sat as her guilt ate away at her. This very well may be the very last time she and Sakura will ever break bread, or even speak to each other ever again.

They four friends sat and ate dinner, but much of it was eaten in silence. Sakura noticed the wired behavior of her friends. Ino was hardly speaking, which was way out of characteristic for her. Hinata she understood, but even TenTen was avoiding looking her in the eye. She was about to ask, but was interrupted by a hospital summoning. Apparently, a group of shinobi was at the gate severely wounded.

Before Sakura could leave; Ino unexpectedly embraced Sakura and a hug. "You're my best friend, and I love you. Please, always remember that." She whispered in her ear.

Sakura smiled, but knew something was terribly off with all the girls. Making her way out she glanced out the corner of her eye seeing Hinata was teared up and Ino openly letting her tears fall. She wanted to go back and ask but, there was a group of shinobi that needed her immediate attention.

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Sakura admired her work. She was able to save all eight severely wounded shinobi; among them was Ino's father. Perhaps he knew why Ino was so upset. Making her way to the jounin she stooped down beside him where he was taking rest before reporting to the Hokage.

"Mr. Yamanaka, how are you feeling?" She asked making small talk.

He gave her a winning smile, not at all like Gai, and Lee's, but a handsome smile that told her he was quite the lady's man when he was younger. "Sakura, you did a great job as usual, I feel great."

Blushing slightly Sakura thanked him for the complement. "Mr. Yamanaka? Do you know if something is bothering Ino? She asked hoping to find out about the mystery surrounding the man's daughter.

Inoichi, sighed. He did know about the upcoming nuptials between Uchiha and his daughter. She had come to them days ago and explained the situation. Ino had voiced her concern for Sakura's well-being. It was now apparent Sakura was still in the dark, and he wasn't the one who would tell her, so he lied. "No Sakura, I wasn't aware that anything was bothering Ino, but I will ask if she doesn't threatened me with death again."

The two shared a laugh together, at Ino's temper tantrums; she would throw when her dad would get involved in her personal life.

With that out the way, Sakura packed her medical supplies, and headed for home. Inoichi watched the girl he could call a second daughter. He felt bad for the girl, because he knew of her love for the boy, but Ino was his real daughter. "I wish you happiness in the future Sakura, but my daughter comes first."

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Kakashi lay in his bed and unconsciously wrapped his arm around Shizune that had nuzzled more into his bare chest. She knew nothing of the trouble Sakura was about to experience, or she would run straight to Tsunade. He knew his little Shizune, and she loved Sakura. She would try to stop any misfortune that would befall Sakura. He and Shizune weren't too different and that department.

Even now, it took all his will power not to go and stop Sasuke from speaking with her. Yet, it was the only way now. He so hoped Sakura would find love again the way he had with Shizune. He craned his neck to the box in the closet that belong to Sakura. For a medic he hadn't expected so much weaponry, not to mention several poisons. 'Sakura' he thought 'Don't let this ruin you.'

It was almost 11 o'clock once Sakura made it to her home. Once she entered, she felt a presence.

"Breaking an entry Sasuke?" she asked amusingly as she turned on a couple of lights. When she got no reply, she turned to face him. Sakura looked him over, his hair was disheveled, clothes wrinkled. But what had her was the rapid beating of his heart.

Stepping in medic mode, she sent a soothing chakra through his chest instantly calming him. "Are you okay?"

His dark eyes bored holes at her. The concern in her green orbs held so much love and trust. After finding love, he now recognized the flitting emotion. This was harder than he thought, and he needed to tell her.

"Sakura can you sit down I—" he sighed heavily. "I have something to tell you."

Sakura kept asking was everything okay the whole time he guided her to the tan couch. Sitting them both down Sasuke swallowed the hard lump that wouldn't disappear. It had been growing, and taking refuge in his throat since this morning.

Sakura was starting to get really worried about the usually impassive young man. This unusual behavior was starting to get to her. It was too out of character for him.

"Sakura, you know how sometimes fate can take you by the hand, and lead you somewhere you had no intention of going?"

Sakura slowly nodded, but had no idea what he was talking about. On top of that, his voice was filled with the only thing she can describe as fear, and regret.

"Some- - Sometime things don't turn out the way you want them to." Sakura took Sasuke's hand that had a slight tremble to them.

"Sasuke you're talking in riddles, and not making much sense. If you have something to say, just say it."

Taking his hand out of hers he stood and began to pace. "Trust me you don't want to know, what I came here to tell you." Standing up herself, Sakura stared at the pacing man before her. She was ready to call the men in white coats, but she desperately wanted to know what had her love so up in arms.

"Sasuke you can tell me anything."

"You have no idea. And I hate this, damn it I hate it!" He shouted as his fist connected with the dry wall that left a hole. He had to admit for a few seconds his anxiety disappeared. While Sakura jumped at the display of rage.

"Sasuke you're really scaring me, now just tell me what the problem is." She said cautiously. "We can fix it."

Looking at the beautiful and caring woman before him, he couldn't. She looked at him with such love and concern, how could he shatter her heart. How could he kill the hopes and dreams of this brilliant and vibrant woman she came to be? It was simple he couldn't.

"I' can't."

"Look there is nothing you can't tell me." She told him in the tenderest voice. Sasuke looked toward her and, she swore she saw tears in his eyes before turning his back to her.

He knew he had to tell her. He didn't deserve her devotion, he never had. The voice she used just now was meant to sooth another, and he couldn't let her waste another minute of that love on him. "Sakura this is by far the hardest thing I ever had to do. I would rather fight Itachi all over again than do this to you."

Sakura listened to his broken and desperate voice that brought tears to her eyes. She moved to go hold him, but he gestured his hand for her to stay, where she was.

"Sakura." He called to her. "I needed a woman to spend my life with. Someone who will help me rebuild my clan, but that woman isn't you." He heard her intake a breath.

For a moment Sakura felt her heart stop. She wished she heard him wrong, but his words were very clear. "Sasuke I know, you been through a lot during these last couple of years, but you shouldn't give up on your goal of rebuilding your clan."

"I haven't." He said finally meeting her eyes. "The clan shall be rebuilt, but it won't be you at my side. You're not the woman I love." He saw Sakura swallow a lump in her throat, and her chest heave up and down.

The pain of his words struck painfully in her heart, and her insides screamed. Plus she saw something in his eyes that said it was set in stone.

"What are you trying to say?" she asked amazed that she even found her voice. She knew what he was saying she wasn't dumb, but if there was a chance to get Sasuke back she would. She needed to know how far the relationship was along.

Turning his head back down he silently asked for the gods to give him strength. "Sakura I've been seeing someone, and she's the one I want."

Sakura stiffened at his declaration. She knew he was, but to hear him say it made it almost real in her mind.

"Don't… you think…you're being a bit hasty? She asked between gasps. Sakura could hardly breathe. She had her back to Sasuke, as he told her, just how long he had been in a relationship.

"So you see I haven't acted with haste." He knew this was tearing her up, for his own insides hated every moment of this.

"Sakura I never meant to hurt you, like this, but I will be wedding her."

'A year and a half,' she thought. How was she to compete with that? Standing there for a while, in silence, Sakura finally asked. "Who…Who is she?"

Sasuke bit his lip, until it bleed at that question. "It doesn't matter." He figured she have had enough turmoil for one night. He didn't want her to know it was her soon to be ex-best friend.

"No tell me."

Sasuke kept mum.

"Tell me, you at least owe me that much." She was holding her breath trying to keep her tears at bay, while gathering a major headache, but it was nothing compared to the pain that now resided in her heart.

Still he kept silent. Sakura wanted to wake up this was a bad dream now. She wished to wake from this horrible world. Once she woke up she could be with Sasuke and her friend, she could train with the guys, she fight with Tsunade, and she could sit and catch up on the gossip with Ino. 'Ino' she thought.

The last few moments with her today played in real-time in her mind. The crying, the declaration of friendship and love towards her, TenTen, and Hinata avoiding her gaze, all added up now. A sudden hate for the girl rose in her. Her best friend was the one.

"Ino." She said. Sasuke didn't have to confirm it, she already knew. "So she couldn't beat me at anything, so she takes the one thing I love more than life."

"It didn't happen like that." He finally spoke. "There was no malicious intent, Sakura. We just found each other."

"No." Sakura said. "It was supposed to be me. I was the one that had always been there." She whispered. "When she and everyone else had written you off, I was there defending you, loving you, while Ino told me I needed to move on, she sat there with me writing you off just like everyone else." Sakura was near hysterics now. She had long let her tears fall, but she couldn't face Sasuke it was too painful too, look at him now.

Sasuke took a breath; he couldn't deal with her crying, his heart bleed for her. Her tears were cascading messing up her beautiful face. How he wished Sakura didn't love him so much.

"I'm sorry Sakura. I never-" He knew what he was saying was all valueless to her right now. "I just wanted you to hear this from me, and no one else. Tomorrow I will make an official announcement, plus it will be in the newspaper."

She wished the ground would have swallowed her up right now. Her legs could barely support her. The rug had been pulled from under her, and now she was falling endlessly into an abyss that had no end.

"I am sorry, but I hope you can forgive me, and find someone who will love you, the way you deserve."

He went to Sakura's slumped form that was still standing, and squeezed her shoulder gently. He made his way to her door and opened it giving one last glance of the broken hearted kunoichi. He leaned against the door once he had closed it.

Inside Sakura was trying to comprehend everything that didn't make sense to her, but before she could she felt her meal regurgitate itself as she dubbed over empting the contents of her stomach. After rinsing her mouth off at the sink she began to walk, but everything seemed to move slowly. She felt dizzy, as she tried to make her way up the stairs but she sank down after the second leaning her head against the railing. Her breathing became ragged and the tears flowed more freely, and all she could do was ask why. The thoughts of Ino and Sasuke invaded her mind, as well as the thoughts of everyone who knew her. They would laugh and taunt her to no end. The shame and humiliation would come full circle. The jeers and laughs became so loud in her ears until, her inside erupted.

She let out a blood curling sob half scream, as she wrapped herself in her arms trying to find protection from reality. Her sobs and screams became louder, as her pain grew deeper.

On the outside of her door Sasuke heard every plea and cry, "I know." He said "I know." He repeated before he walked off to his home.

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This chapter was SOOO HARD! I'm not good with angst.

Anyway sorry for errors and grammar, BUT** PLEASE REVIEW!**

Well I'm finally updating. Spring Break gives me time that I need to update. Well Happy reading. Oh I don't own Naruto.


	3. Chapter 3

**Still I own nothing.**

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Shizune was just waking up to the budding sunrise. She reached over to find the spot, which Kakashi usually occupied cold. It was out of the ordinary for him to even move from his sleeping position this early, unless it he had a mission of course. However, she would have known if he had.

She was about to fall back asleep, when she saw today's newspaper stationed on top of Kakashi's pillow, turned to the Society Section. Her eyes briefly scanned the headline.

**"Uchiha Heir to Wed!"**

Shizune gleefully grabbed the paper, and began to read. As she read, her smile slowly diminished.

'Oh Sakura,' She thought. She hurried out of bed, got dressed, and scurried to the hospital, where Tsunade usually went every morning before heading to her tower. She prayed Tsunade hadn't seen the headline just yet, but she knew it was inevitable.

At the hospital, Tsunade's eyebrow was arched in confusion. She had never seen such efficient work regulations. All the medics seem to be working enthusiastically, when she stepped through the doors of her hospital.

The night nurses at the receptionist desk, who had always slacked in her work, was attacking the mountain of paperwork. Even the hospital administrators seemed quite busy.

Her rounds she usually did had already been taken care of. It seemed Christmas came early for her this year, but she knew things weren't always what the seemed. No one had yet to look up from what they were doing to even acknowledge her presence. In her mind, something was up.

Just then, Shizune bust through the double doors, and gawked at the workers working in honest, or so it seemed.

"Shizune." The younger woman heard her name called. "What's wrong with this picture?"

Shizune looked from her mentor back to the people busying themselves, and knew it was all a ruse. She saw the trashcans crammed with today's newspapers.

'Is this what it takes for these people to do their job; A heartbroken young woman who happens to be the surrogate daughter of the Hokage,' she thought in annoyance.

"Lady Tsunade please come with me."

Tsunade knew that voice form her friend. It was apologetic, and strained. Now she knew for certain something was up.

Without a word, she left the hospital to her tower, where her shinobi acted just as strangely. All of them seem to be busy, not one was lounging about, waiting for her to give the next assignment.

Everything was just a bit too perfect for Tsunade. She knew now the day wasn't going to be pleasant. People actually working, and Shizune's remorseful demeanor. She shuttered to think of what everyone knew, but wouldn't say. For once, she wished to remain ignorant. She followed Shizune into her office.

Once behind closed doors of her office, Shizune showed Tsunade the article.

Outside the others knew that she now knew, of the impeding nuptials. With an angry curse and the splintering of wood, it was very obvious.

Unhinging her door from its bolts, she ordered all the shinobi to cease all their 'work'. She looked at her picture perfect ninjas, and was disgusted.

"You're all pathetic, skulking around me like some wounded dogs, hoping not to piss off the top bitch." She hissed violently.

She eyed them all with a fierce glare, daring one of them to say a word. She was just looking for an excuse to strike someone. Seeing no takers, she stormed out of Hokage tower. Sakura needed her now.

She decided to take the back way into Sakura's home. She didn't want any more attention to be drawn to her then there already was. She could already see the town folk gathering near. Once at Sakura's back door she felt another presence.

"So how long have you been debating going in?" she asked.

Kakashi appeared next to her. "Before day break this morning." He answered soberly.

"I didn't know how to handle this situation, it would be a first for me."

"As it is for me," she replied bitterly. "Come, we'll face this new threat together." She said opening the door as Kakashi followed.

The house was quiet as they entered; everything seemed so tranquil, until they reached the living room, where the faint smell of vomit filled their senses, and there laying of the steps was their wilting cherry blossom.

Sakura's porcelain skin was now blotchy, and stained with silent tears. Her vibrant green orbs pink and puffy due to last night's revelations. Her body was curled into fetal position as she stared into space, as the tears kept falling continuously.

Kakashi opened a window to let a breeze in, to rub out the smell, of Sakura's regurgitation. Tsunade climbed the steps and position herself behind Sakura. She molded herself against the girl's motionless frame.

"We can treat ailments, patch up scars, cure diseases, and perform the most grueling surgeries with accuracy, but curing a broken heart goes beyond any skill of healing we possess." She ran her polished nails through Sakura's pink locks. "Only time can heal those wounds."

The moment the words left her lips, she felt Sakura's frame shake, as she whimpered and willed herself not to cry aloud.

Kakashi had appeared on the other side of Sakura. He squeezed her hand letting her know he was there also. See looked up to see the dismal look and his eye, and that's when she lost another battle to her hurting heart, as another bout cries filled the room.

There were no words to describe how she felt at the moment; all she knew is that it hurt. No enemy ninja could cause the pain she was feeling, only someone who knew her best could cause this much damage to her still beating heart.

It hurt to breath. Her chest felt constricted, and every breath she fought to take served as a reminder, that she was still alive.

"I can't br-br breathe," she chocked out. "It feels like…I...can't breathe." Sakura cried out as she desperately tried to take in air.

Kakashi pulled her head into his lap, desperately wanting to soothe her pain. He would gladly change places with her if it meant no harm would come upon her, but he found out long ago he could never cry her tears. All he could do is try to be a source of comfort. He was determined to see her through this, but for now, he just let her beautiful eyes squeeze out the pain.

* * *

Sasuke sat in his room, trying to get the courage to face the rest of the day. He hadn't much sleep last night. The piercing sound of Sakura's cries haunted him. Now everyone knew. No doubt, the older female population had probably labeled him a scoundrel, by now. Ino probably dubbed as a harlot, or a loose woman.

Speaking of his fair Ino, she had just walked in the room, putting her comforting arms around him.

"How did she take it?" she asked tentatively.

"How do you think she took it?" He snorted at the young woman's dim-witted question.

She just nodded. She already knew the answer, but hoped by some miracle, that her friend didn't take it as hard as she knew she would.

"Do you think she'll forgive us?" she asked.

"I certainly want to believe that." Sakura was the most forgiving person he knew, but sometimes there are things that even she can't forgive. He hoped this wasn't one of them. Sakura is a part of his new family, and honorary members of his clan, along with the rest of his team. He didn't want to lose one as faithful as her.

Ino saw the haunted regretful look in his eyes, as he thought about Sakura. Sakura was the heart of her team, and held in very high esteem with most of the shinobi. Yet when she looked into Sasuke's eyes, she saw something different all together. She knew she could never come between that bond they shared, and it scared her.

"Maybe we shouldn't—" Ino was cut off by Sasuke, who immediately covered his mouth with hers.

Pulling back from his dazed fiancé, he reprimanded her for letting those words even dare spill over her lips.

He actually loved Ino, more than any other woman, he chose her, and he planned to stick around for the long haul.

* * *

Across town an angry Hyuuga read the headline of the newspaper. He crumbled the paper and cast it in the morning trash.

"You've finally stopped hiding it Uchiha."

The young man seethed, at the thought of the other man. He thought the other man was a waste of perfectly good space.

He took up his morning glass of vegetable juice, but before he could devour it, the glass shattered under his grip.

"Damn you Uchiha."

* * *

**Please Review! I need to know what you all think of the chapter so I can plan for the next one. Please excuse any errors or bad grammar.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Naruto.**

**Well guys be warned this isn't the best chapter I capable of writing. This is more of a filler chapter. Its more of a setup for the coming up chapters.**

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I stand in my office splashing water on my pale tired looking face, for the third time today. I know I looked awful, even the powder foundation no longer covered my tiredness.

It's been one week, six days, eight hours, thirty-two minutes, and twelve seconds since I lost my dreams. My idea of love had been crushed, and the one I love, and gave my all too threw my love back in my face.

It's been six days since I gave into my anger, and pain, and ran the edge of a kunai across my own jugular for the first time. I was too much of a coward to press down and let the liquid that prolongs my pain to leave my veins.

That's me a coward. It is maybe the reason he chose her, because for the life of me I cannot understand his reasoning for loving her. Was it not me who helped pick up the pieces of his shattered life? Was it not me who continued to love him, even after he abandoned me for the first time? And even at the end of all things was I not there standing at his side as he came face to face with his past, shortening the years of my life, while Ino was nowhere to be found.

Yet she reaped the benefits of my efforts. 'Cruel how fate works that way,' I thought bitterly.

The village was starting to slowly accept the duo, once they seen how happy they were. While people still walk around me on pins and needles, and still gave me their sympathy. I found no comfort in their sympathy, nor their prayers for me.

I can't even find comfort in the bottom of a bottle, seeing as my body can stave off any drink I consume. My body is so good; I performed a grueling surgery after consuming several drinks. The surgery was flawless, and my attending nurses didn't have a clue.

I sometimes wonder why I prolong people's lives, when in the end they'll die anyway. Why do I save them when they'll only experience pain later? Why should I help them?

"Why, Indeed?" I asked myself.

Ino stood outside Sakura's office, with her brows contorted in thought. She was thinking about what to say to Sakura, without getting the devil knocked out of her.

Sasuke told her to stay away for a while until she calmed down, but Sasuke was a guy. He didn't fully understand women, as they understood each other. A woman's pain runs deep. So it didn't matter when, or if she'd calm down, it was matter when she could let go, of her love for him.

Hesitantly she knocked on the door. She heard Sakura from inside relaying her conference hours.

"Yeah I know," Ino replied sticking her head in the door.

Sakura stopped writing on her patient's chart, and gripped her pen tightly.

"Get out."

The cold voice freighted Ino, but she couldn't wait another day to try to clear the air.

"No, Sakura listen we need to talk."

Sakura snorted. "Your actions spoke loud, and were un-doubtfully clear." Finally meeting Ino's eyes, she felt a murderous intent bubbling up inside her.

"Please leave, before I do something only you're going to regret."

"Listen I know you're angry," Ino tried to explain, but Sakura scoffed at her.

"No, you see angry is when I lose a patient on my watch. Angry is when I lose a friends in combat and if that's anger, I don't know what to call what I feel now, but it sure as hell isn't anger."

Ino looked at the storm that came to life in Sakura's usually warm eyes, and one wrong move could set her off.

"Sakura let's talk about this. We can't let this stand in way of us being best friends again." Ino watched as Sakura shook her head.

"Friends!" she exclaimed. "With friends like you who needs an enemy…friend," she emphasized on friend. "No Ino we're not friends, I suppose we never were. You see when you're friends with someone you don't stab them in the back, and then twist it for good measure. They don't lie to cover their own ass. Oh and they certainly don't marry the object of their best friend affections."

Ino looked guilty. "It just happened," she blurted out before thinking.

Being faster than Ino's eyes Sakura appeared before Ino slamming her into the wall with her forearm thrust in her windpipe.

"How about I kill you, and tell everyone it just happened as my excuse," she hissed violently in the other woman's face.

Sakura's door was pushed open revealing a frightened nurse, and one of the many ANBU captains.

The nurse had seen Ino go into Sakura's office and panicked. She didn't know if she should call the ANBU squad or call the morgue. Yet the solution to her problem walked through the door. She grabbed his arm much to the charging of the elite shinobi. She dragged him to the door just in time to hear the crash and Sakura's threat.

Opening the door, he stared into Sakura's raging green orbs.

"Medic Haruno," a liquid steel baritone voice greeted her.

She released Ino and walked back around her desk. "Will you please give us a few seconds and then we'll be finished." The captain nodded but stayed near the door.

"From here on out this is how it's going to be. If you see me walking down the hall I suggest you go the other way. When you see me walking down the street you had better cross that street."

At the moment, Sakura willed herself not to cry. "Whatever we were, because it painfully obvious to me now, that we weren't friends. I don't know what we were, but I guess it really doesn't matter now does it. You got what you wanted."

Ino teary apologetic eyes, could hear finality in Sakura words, but she refused to accept defeat in losing Sakura. She also knew Sasuke couldn't either.

Ino sighed, "I'll back off for now, but I refuse to let this go."

"You know the way out," Sakura snapped.

Ino finally left leaving Sakura's to calm her thoughts before her door open again. She gestured for the captain to come in.

He stayed silent as he took off his ANBU mask off revealing mist colored eyes, and long silk coffee brown hair.

"Captain Hyuga I could the smell blood from the hall," she said breaking the ice. "So what is it this time?"

Neji stayed silent, removed his chest plating, and spandex shirt revealing his muscled but sleek physique. Like most, ANBU ops, he didn't like the prodding and probing of medics. Most of them preferred Shuizune, or Sakura. He lately preferred Sakura's touch.

He lay on the examining table waiting for Sakura's scolding he knew was coming, by the way her eye twitched.

'Those beautiful eyes even if they lost a bit if not all of their shine,' he thought.

"Neji can I ask why you're in here again with the same injury you had not even three months ago. It's also parallel to the one you bought in here two weeks ago."

"New jutsu," he answered stiffly.

"Well your new jutsu clearly isn't working."

"It works fine," he bit out after hearing her voice dripping with sarcasm. "If you would recall each time the wound has been cut shallower each time, which means I'm getting faster."

"Which means to me you were lucky not to have been killed the first time, in my book."

"But I didn't ask you?"

"Apparently you did when you come in here, with as many injuries as you have had in the last few months."

Before he could retort Tsunade smashed opened her office door. Her nostrils flared and eyes narrowed. Rage was radiating off her in waves. This was one of the many times one should avoid the woman.

"Sakura will you excuse us." Sakura nodded and excused herself into the hall quickly, not wanting to be in the path of Hurricane Tsunade.

She strolled up to Neji and slapped a slip of paper on his sore chest.

"I told you to play by the rules, now you're suspended."

Neji made no reaction to his suspension; he had rather knew it was coming. Breaking rank was a serious offense.

Tsunade was furious with his uncaring attitude, she had hoped the suspension, would get him back in focus. This would be the seventh time in three months he showed insubordination. Although the missions were successful, there are rules and those rules keep the team alive. Neji was her best next to Naruto and Sasuke among the young generation.

Naruto was already training with her to become Hokage in a few years which left Sasuke and Neji up for the position of 1st captain, in the future. She had a sneaky suspicion that was what it was all about.

"Neji I'm disappointed in you. Up until a few months ago you've had a flawless service record. You've been an upstanding combatant and leader, but you cannot go and break rank and do what you want, especially when you're not the one in command. You are to follow your commanding officers orders to a tee."

"Even if his order will lead to a bloodbath?" he asked. "No thanks," he said challenging the woman's authority.

"Look you're the one under my authority, and I don't know whatever male machismo is going on between you and Sasuke but I want it dropped."

"Not likely," he replied seriously.

"Sasuke is skilled fighter and strategist, trained by one of the world's best-

"Oh yes the sociopath fairy, he went chasing after." He drawled. "You don't think storing him in the back of his mind didn't change him."

Tsunade opened her mouth and closed it pursing her red colored lips together. "Look, you just follow orders."

"Oh no; we mustn't question your old and wise knowledge of Naruto and Sasuke." He watched as her eyes widened as he gave an all knowing smirk. "Did I offend you, or made it a point to call you on your favoritism."

She backed away not trusting not herself in close proximity of the one few men who dared challenge her.

"You're hereby suspended indefinitely. You're also stripped of your rank, and from now on you'll be assigned to the Uchiha squad."

Turning on her heel, she found his spandex shirt and ripped his captain insignia off.

She gave him the same all-knowing smirk. "Have fun taking his orders."

Once she left the room her smirk turned to anger. Even if she got the last word, she didn't know how she was going to explain this to the elders. Her shinobi were already spread too thin. Yet they are lucky I didn't bust his rear back to genin, she thought eyeing the insignia in her right hand.

Sakura finished up with Neji, and now was walking down the hall to leave. She suspected he'd be difficult, to deal with after Tsunade's demotion, but he continuously smirked. A completely different reaction then she expected. If it was any of the other rookies, they'll have a fit with the exception of Hinaita and Shikamaru. She shook her head wondering what Neji was up too.

Continuing on her way she heard voices in the lounge area for the staff.

"I still can't believe he chose her over Sakura," she heard one nurse say.

Another nurse who Sakura knew hated her Mei chimed in next. "I can," she exclaimed. "You see Sasuke only wants the best and most powerful. Ino has to be stronger than her."

"No way," the first nurse replied.

"That's only explanation, and soon Ino will be running this hospital," Mei said. "And Sakura will be a memory."

Sakura smirked 'Ino stronger than her,' she thought. Yet there was another voice seconding Mei, one of the higher up medics.

"Takashi, Akuasun, and Lin were wondering about that the other day. We wondered if Ino was better when it came to medicine. We concluded that she is, and that's why we are promoting her as a lead medic."

"That's the same rank as Sakura," The first nurse said. "Don't you think you're rushing your decision?"

"Oh you're young you have so much to learn," Mei said.

Sakura fumed quietly, as her inside were breaking all over again. 'Head Medic' she thought. 'She took Sasuke now, she's ranked the same level I am.'

Treading back to her office she took a box and started packing her belongings, once done she took all the charts of her patients and slid them into other medics' boxes who she thought suitable for the job. All confidential charts went too Shizune.

'They want Ino they got her.'

She walked form the hospital knowing what chaos would befall them in a few days. It felt good knowing she was causing others pains; after all misery always loves company.

Walking home, she noticed there weren't many people about, but the ones that were gave her strange looks. Did she have something on her face? Is my dress tucked into my underwear? After making sure that wasn't the case, she decided she needed a drink.

Walking into a bar favorite among shinobi, she got quite a few horrified stares. She wondered what the fuss was about, settled at the sidebar, and ordered. The bar got deafly quiet.

She turned to look at the patrons. She saw all eyes were shifting towards her, while others murmured. The bar tender settled the drink in front of her.

'Did I intrude on a private party,' I thought to myself.

One lone occupant of the bar now knew that the young woman didn't know what was going on. Kakashi sighed. Oh all the rotten luck in the world, he believed Sakura had the worst. He began to move toward her, this would only hurt her more than she already was.

Sakura scanned the crowd through the corners of her eyes. She spotted a shame-faced looking Naruto, and almost all the Konoha 11. It looked like a celebration of some sort, she wondered if she forgot a birthday.

She looked for a sign, and she gasped quietly. She looked back down at her drink. How did her day go too bad to this humiliation? She bit her lip drawing blood tasting the bitter copper, as she saw Ino wrapped snugly in Sasuke's arms.

'This was Ino and Sasuke's engagement party.'

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**Well here it is, ideas are welcomed.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Thanks for the reviews, I really loved them all. I hope to receive more of those nice reviews.**

* * *

Sakura found out the hard way that fate could be cruel, but now it was being a downright bitch, or bastard. Take your pick.

She wondered why of all the people in the known world, why this had to happen to her. Had she not been through the wringer already? She briefly mused the thought of a blood sacrifice to appease the fates' wrath upon her.

'This is bad,' she thought to herself. She wish the Earth would just swallow her whole, right about now. She was already the subject of much of the gossip in the village. It was no reason to throw an exploding tag into an already raging fire, but here she was, in the fray again.

'How am I going to live this one down, better yet how was I going to get out of this with my pride still intact.' She thought miserably.

Luckily, for her a savior came to her aid just in time. Sakura felt the familiar presence of her former sensei. She heard the crackling of chakra in the familiar sound of his chidori. It only took this one angry action to turn the patron's attention away from Sakura to chakra-laced fist of Kakashi.

The usually calm and aloof Copy ninja, hurled his chakra-filled hand at the ninja hound Akamaru, but the ninja hound dodged the oncoming attack. He quickly turned to see the hound happily mocking him, with black beady eyes.

Kakashi blatantly ignored the shouts from Kiba and the rest of the Inuzuka clan, as he yelled at the ninja hound. "Give me my book!"

The bar quieted down and turned to the hound that was, happily drooling and slobbering on the pages of an orange well-known book. Anybody who had ever seen Kakashi knew of his love for the smut that was written in the pages, of the book series.

"Akamaru tell me you didn't," Kiba stated in astonishment.

"Dead dog barking," Genma said drunkenly.

However, everyone knew just how close to the truth those words were.

Kakashi pricked his thumb summoning his own ninja hounds and sent them after one of their own with Kakashi, and distressed Kiba on their heels.

Hardly anyone took the time to notice Sakura had escaped her impending doom, due to Kakashi's_ 'disturbance.'_

A few of the older females gave each other knowing glances, while the male populace was clueless as ever. All except, one silver-eyed young man who sees all. Neji hadn't missed Kakashi's deliberate act. He was somewhat impressed by the man's quick thinking, but also bit angry that he hadn't moved to do something himself.

While many people dismissed Sakura's embarrassment there were some fools who wouldn't let it go. Like the world-class idiot and his friends sitting in the booth behind him.

"Frankly I think she deserved to be snubbed by Uchiha. Call it karma for all the times she dismissed any guy who was interested in her," he heard Tsuki a low rank Chunin say.

"You mean all the times she turned you down don't you," his friend teased.

"So what, she won't be too resistant now," he said sinisterly. "She's on the rebound, and she'll jump at the first guy who'll show kindness, and let her cry on their shoulder. She'll be easy picking."

Neji hands were clenched tightly. He recalled that Tsuki was the subject of much of the female gossip in his squad. It wasn't good gossip either.

Making his decision, Neji stood in front of the boys table, pulled a kunai from his holster and threw it right between Tsuki's legs, and then grabbed him by the scruff of his vest.

"I didn't have to miss," he hissed in Tsuki's ear. "Know this if you ever darken her doorway, or even approach her in an unprofessional manner I won't miss a second time. But you're quite certain to be missing something, and from what I hear, it isn't much to begin with."

Tsuki swallowed the lump that formed in his throat, and nodded at the shinobi elite. Neji released his hold and left a few stun occupants mainly Sasuke and the other rookie teams. They too heard Tsuki assessment of Sakura situations, and it angered them at the boy's lack of respect.

Sasuke may was not was able to return Sakura's feelings, but he wasn't about to let her fall for any guy especially a jackass like Tsuki. He wasn't going to let Sakura be anybody's plaything, so he stood up to reprimand the Chunin, but found Neji beat him to it.

He didn't know why, but it pained him to see someone other than he or the other members of team seven comes to Sakura defense. Maybe he didn't have the right to come to her defense anymore. Then, there was Neji. Neji was a strange fellow to him. Sure he and Neji had been rivals, even when he had come back they had a friendly competition, up until a year ago.

Something in Neji changed; everything he said, begin to be contradicted by Neji. If he said it was blue, Neji say its red. Sasuke felt Neji held an unspoken anger towards him, and he had no idea why, but he wouldn't focus on that tonight, he could tell Ino was beginning to worry.

Although they were in love and happy, they couldn't fully enjoy all the joy that came with their happiness, because their joy caused ultimate pain to a person, they loved dearly.

* * *

A few days had come since Sakura quit her job. Now she was on the way to the hospital to pickup up her last check. In truth, she just wanted to see if it had turned into a madhouse yet. Walking through the door, she was greeted with shouting, and angry patients.

There were several medics and the administrators, who promoted Ino. They were trying to attend patients and meet their demands. As soon they saw her, they sighed in relief and started handing her charts.

"Good you're back, things have been quite hectic without you around," one of them said.

"Oh, I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression, I just came to pick up my last check," she said feigning ignorance. "Besides you have Ino, at the helm now, what do you need me for?" she smirked.

They all heard the sarcasm dripping arrogantly from her voice. For the past few days, they knew putting Ino in charge was a mistake. Ino tried to tell them that she wasn't as skilled as Sakura. They thought she was being modest, but now they knew Sakura was the best.

The nurse Mei, who envied Sakura's ability found her check quickly, wanting her to leave, while the others were hoping she'd have mercy on them. Their hopes were dashed at Sakura's parting words,

"Have fun."

* * *

Ino looked up at the mountain high paper work that had been stacking up for the past five days. She was really having a bad day.

She sighed for the umpteenth time in an hour. She didn't know how Sakura did it. It amazed her how much this place depended of Sakura. She made it flow like clockwork, and now she was gone everything was in disarray. It made her wonder what the hospital was like before Sakura, worked here.

She smiled sadly at the thought of Sakura. She was planning a wedding without her best friend, when they swore that they would be each other's maids of honor a few years back. Of course, she wasn't Sasuke's fiancée then, and she wasn't in love with him. She wished Sakura could move on, but when you've been madly in love since the age of twelve, that love would be hard to break.

She hoped Sasuke would have better luck then she did, when talking with Sakura.

* * *

After leaving, Sakura went to the bookstore quickly buying Kakashi a replacement book for the one that had been ruined by Akamaru. She was making her way to his apartment yet; she unconsciously let her feet take her to a bench, the same bench in which she had been left on years ago.

Sitting on the bench, she felt the sting of tears behind her eyes, as she remembered how she poured her heart out to Sasuke.

_"Take me with you."_

_"I'll help you."_

_"As long as I'm with you."_

_"I love you, with all my heart."_

'A foolish girl with a foolish dream,' she thought bitterly. Wiping her eyes, she started to get up when a shadow darkened over her. It wasn't the silhouette that caught her attention; it was the way her heart leapt in her chest every time he was near, that told her who her intruder was. Yet that, leap came with a dull painful ache now.

"What do you want?" she asked without looking at him.

Sasuke thought for a moment. He was never was one for words, and if he did speak they were only words of necessity. He sat making himself comfortable on the bench and after a moment, he spoke.

"So," he started. "How's it going?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, he cursed himself mentally. 'Stupid. That was a stupid question.'

She finally glanced up to meet his onyx eyes. "I've had better days," she said barely above a whisper, but he still heard it.

She was surprised by the way, her voice sounded, but then again it was different talking with him now. Everything was the same, but different somehow. She felt as if someone had stepped in her life and she was an outsider looking in. It seemed like she was withdrawing from everything and everyone; the only thing that spurred a response from her was her own pain.

It was painful to watch her friends a few nights ago, celebrating Sasuke and Ino's engagement. She felt as if they were somehow celebrating her heartache. None besides Kakashi and Tsunade would come by to see her. She suppose they wouldn't know what to say, or act around her. At least that's what she kept telling herself.

She broke from her musing once she heard him speak again. "I heard you quit your job."

She snorted inelegantly. "Yeah they have Ino now, everybody wants Ino now, you know. Well of course you do."

He ignored the sarcastic jab. "She isn't qualified for your job."

"I know but, by you choosing her, you made her qualified."

He quickly knew they were headed toward an argument, which was the last thing he wanted. He needed to derail her and quick.

"Sakura it wasn't about who was stronger, when I choose to be with Ino, and it certainly wasn't to hurt you either. If you're the person I know you are, then I know you know this," he told her.

"Whether I know it or not, it doesn't change where we are in our lives right now."

Sasuke sighed, looking at her sadly. He was about to ask Sakura for a huge favor, that he had no right to ask.

"Yeah we are at different points in our lives. I'm about to embark into marriage, and the rejuvenation of my clan. And you're at a crossroad, of 'where do I go from here?' he trailed off.

Sakura knew this was his weak attempt at mending bridges, but so far, he was striking out with her. She had much more tolerance for Sasuke then she did for Ino, because she loved him still. In her heart of hearts that was still a little girl, and she wanted to believe that before he and Ino married he'd still choose her.

"Before you give me your answer, I ask that you just hear me out. Can you do that?" he asked.

Closing her eyes at his words. 'When did he ever need to ask,' she thought.

"You never had to ask anything of me, I just did it. You never needed to tell me to be there. I was already there, just as I was here that night six years ago, you walked this very path to leave. I was there, while Ino was tucked in the covers of her bed." She was riding a strange high that made her feel reckless, that made her want to anger him; to let him feel even a sliver of her pain. She wanted to hurt him, as much as she was.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he despised the deadpan voice Sakura spoke to him with. He knew she was defiantly trying to pick a fight now, but he wasn't about to let it happen. He missed his friend, everyone did.

"Sakura I know it's hard to accept my decision, but I still care for you, as a family member and friend. And I'm asking you to be happy for me. Give us your blessing, by stand up for Ino as her best friend and maid of honor."

'Care, friend' Words a girl doesn't desire to hear when they're in love. Yet, he took it to another level when he asked her to be stand up for Ino. She left him know with the hardened look.

"I'm sure Hinata, or TenTen, would due nicely. Even Shikamaru would gladly stand in, if she nagged him enough."

Sakura thought about what would happen if she stood up in front of a ceremony full of people while Sasuke professed vows of honor, love, and fidelity to another. It was something she couldn't do. Even with all the valor and courage could she do it.

By the time, she emerged from her thoughts her eyes were blurred with unshed tears.

"I can't, and I won't," she told him, as her voice cracked betraying her hurt.

Sighing he lifted himself off the bench. "The wedding is in two months, if you change your mind—

"I won't," she said firmly cutting him off.

Sasuke swiftly kneeled down in front of her looking into anguished green orbs.

"What can I do Sakura, besides the obvious," he questioned. "How do I make this better? Ask it of me and if it's within my power, I'll give it to you."

By now, shimmering tears had fallen onto her cheeks.

'All I had to do was ask, and he would give it to me' she thought.

It wasn't that simple, all she wanted was his heart, in return for the one he had stolen from her, and the same one she had so readily given to him. Since he couldn't return his, she desperately desired hers back.

"Can I have my heart back?" she asked brokenly as her tears became a constant stream.

Sasuke still kneeling down felt another layer of guilt fall upon his already guilty conscience. He saw a young woman begging to be free of her pain. She was being held prisoner, by her feeling for him, and only time had the key to free her.

"I'm sorry," was all Sasuke could think to say, as he stood turning away from one of the best persons he had ever known.

Sakura with a tear-streaked face, watched once again as the boy who had now become a man walk away from her, as he did six years ago.

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	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own NOTHING!**

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Dull green orbs watched the clock second hand make another round to make the time officially 8:00 am.

"Yo." She heard the masculine voice of Kakashi from down stairs, but she cared not for the voice today. Usually she'd be sulking in bed, trying her best to ignore the nuisance of his visits. Yet today she lay on the cold tiled floor of her bathroom, in a white cotton nightgown she had yet to remove in two-weeks.

Kakashi appeared in the doorway in sighed. The bathroom reeked of vomit, the stench of booze, and of course Sakura's un-groomed condition. On the floor was his daughter, wasting away her life on a dream she had invested her life in. Yes, Sasuke dealt her a shocking blow, but her life would not end here, he won't let it.

Kakashi stepped forward in wrapped his arms around her pulling her from the cold floor. She protested the whole time protested wanting to wallow in misery, but he'd have none of it. He gave her time to piss and moan; now it was time to end it. He hauled her to the shower, turned it on, spraying her and himself with warm water clothes and all.

Sakura sputtered, as she swallowed water that fell into her unsuspecting mouth. He picked up soap and a lathering sponge and started to wash the two-week dirt, and grime build-up on her body.

"I'll do it myself," he heard her say gruffly.

Eyeing her for a moment, he nodded and closed the shower curtain so she could have her privacy. He toweled himself off, and went the spare bedroom where Sakura kept some of his and the guy's cloths. He went back a while later to the bathroom to see Sakura less disheveled, but still looking shabby and worn. He led her down stairs, where he had cleared all the empty bottles of liquor that once inhabited it. Sitting her on the sofa, he went to the kitchen to fetch two steaming mugs of tea. She gingerly sipped her tea, while Kakashi eyed her thoughtfully.

To him she looked so small and feeble, but now was not the time for coddling. Coddling was last week, this week it was tough love time. He moved to open his mouth, but she beat him to it.

"If you're here to tell me everything will be fine, that everything's okay, please don't waste your breath. You and I both know it's not true," she told him. "Those are empty words and false promises that I held to for weeks. They are hollow and not but ash."

"Maybe, but they were words that came from people who care. In fact anyone can see that you are not okay, and everything is not fine in your life."

"Not that anyone has come to see me in weeks, but you, Tsunade, and Shizune," she said dejectedly. "Naruto hovers at the door, before running off. Sai walks by stretching his chakra out to mine just to make sure I'm still breathing. The others just keep walking, like I'm don't exist anymore."

"Because you make to were you don't exist. You're just surviving, barely keeping your head above the tiding and at the rate you're going, you being pulled down into the undertow is very likely."

Sakura chuckled. "Maybe I'll find peace away from my maddening thoughts." She deadpanned.

With a clenched jaw Kakashi stood. "If you want to die then that's your business, but don't expect me to mourn, not when you have too much to live for."

Sakura stood up in that moment barely reaching Kakashi's chest. "What do you know?" She asked forcefully.

He grabbed her shoulders forcefully.

"I know that you are lingering in darkness and in doubt," he told her as his voice dropped an octave. "I also know you have the gift of life in you. Yet, because you are suffering, you want everyone else to suffer with you, and they are. People you could heal easily are dying everyday because, you sit here licking and not tending to your wounds thinking of the 'what ifs'."

He pushed her down gently, as more tears filled her eyes.

"There are no more 'what ifs' Sakura. Yeah, you got burned, and you got burned bad, but don't sit here killing yourself wallowing in solitude. Believe me if you die today or tomorrow, the world won't stop. It will go on without you, and that would be truly a loss for a person who had some much to offer the world."

Sakura compressed her lips but said nothing as the familiar sensation of hurt stabbed its way through her chest. She wasn't accustomed to Kakashi treating her like this. Nobody had bothered to treat her with this much harsh reality.

"Sasuke is happy, and with everything that has happened in his life we should be happy he grabbed a happy ending, even if it's not the ending we wished for."

'The ending we wished for, the wish I deserved.' Though she knew, Kakashi had a point, no matter how she wanted to deny it. She knew Sasuke cared, but not the way she wanted, and she was now upset that she had continued to love him as long as she had. Even now, she knew it would be the hardest thing, to let go completely and to accept that she was unwanted by him.

"Sakura I don't want to see the years of your life utterly spent, bound to your grief." He told her very fatherly. "I'd want to see you smile again, and to love once more."

Throwing herself into Kakashi, she couldn't stop her tear from cascading. "I love you Kakashi," she whispered into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her letting her cry. As much as she needed to hear what Kakashi said one thing remained: How was she suppose to let go.

* * *

Sakura looked up from her medical charts, to take in the realization of her dream of owning her own clinic. It was more of a small hospital, then clinic, now that she had most of the Konohagakure Hospital staff working for her. The one's that had been loyal to her anyway. People hardly went to the Konohagakure Hospital much to the powers that be (TPTB) disappointment. She was putting them out of business even, though her clinic was less than half the size of their hospital.

She had been on the mist of opening her own clinic, before disaster overtook her life. No one knew of her plan to open a clinic not even Tsunade, but every since Kakashi came by three weeks ago she started parts of her life up again. She was in no means over her love for Sasuke, but she now had a distraction from him.

Her thoughts were broken when one of her nurses, barged in with reports of an enormous amount of ANBU injuries were on the way in.

This announcement confused Sakura, the elders forbade her from treating the ANBU squadrons, but I guess its okay when they feel that they are about to lose some of their precious commodities. Sakura started commanding her troops to make room in the ER as she started to triage the patients.

She was soon up to her neck in patients, and severe bloody wounds. And one of the squads hadn't even made it back to the village yet.

'It was going to be along night,' she thought to herself as she started working with vigor to save her fellow ninjas.

After three hours of fast pace lifesaving procedures she, and her staff were finally able to breathe a little lighter. But good things never last.

Double doors to the ER were violently thrown open, and her staff started their fussing about. The last squad came barreling in, led by Neji. Sakura started toward Neji, but stopped in her trek. A sickening feeling found its way to her stomach, when she saw a bloody Sasuke hanging limply in his arms.

Seeing him so vulnerable, caused a landslide of rocks to tumble brutally in her stomach. A doctor is supposed to be indifferent, but was this something she could be so aloof about. Taking a calming breath, she forced herself to slip into the role of medic, and not as the woman who loved the broken man that was now being reeled into the ER.

"What happened?" she asked Neji, as she prepped Sasuke for a steroid injection.

"Captain Know-it-all led us into an ambush, even when I told him it was trap, but his superiority complex didn't want to listen resulting us almost getting killed."

Sakura merely nodded as she continued to work. She knew Sasuke and Neji were presently at each other throats, for the moment. So she paid him no mind when he described the situation.

Neji walked closer to Sasuke ignoring the protest of the attending nurses. "Do you hear me Uchiha? If anyone dies its blood on your hands," he hissed into the unconscious man's ear.

Sakura having enough used her chakra-enhanced strength, forcefully pulling Neji from the room. "Listen this is a place of healing and not a place to place blame on others," she told him as harshly as she could without raising her voice. "You want to file a complaint, go to the tower and fill out a report."

Neji looked at her through the eyeholes of his ANBU mask, regarding her thoughtfully while looking into her fire driven eyes. Despite everything that's happened in the last couple of weeks, he could see she was still devoted to the guy.

"After everything he's done to you, you're still letting him control you."

Sakura swung her head back to Neji as soon as those words left his mouth, giving him an incredulous look.

"What?" she asked.

She eyed him, as she was ready to erupt. He trained his eyes on hers, and saw an uncontrollable fury in her eyes. Neji knew he put his foot in his mouth, but her devotion to Sasuke staggers, and frustrates him to no end. He wondered how Sasuke could merit such loyalty from the woman he had all but broken. There was no logic to this, but then again when has love ever been logical.

Still staring at Neji, she almost missed the machines beeping rapidly as one of her attending nurses frantically called to her letting her know Sasuke was crashing. Shaking her head in disbelief, she walked back in the infirmary while sealing the door. Neji sighed as he stood guard after all he was second in command, and standing at his superiors officers door while they were incapacitated comes with the job. He looked back in at Sakura working vigorously giving Sasuke life once more.

It was well on into the middle of the night that Neji was still standing his post. He was fatigued but still fulfilling his duty. Speaking of duties Sakura duty was done hours ago, but she sat vigil at Sasuke's bedside. She even held his hand, eyeing him with love and devotion, and making an utter fool of herself. The nurses, doctors, and even some patients whispered rumors about her. Making it seem like her love had become an obsession. To him it is like she's just a gluttony for pain, which he knew this would lead for her.

None of the nurses would dare call Ino out of fear for their job. So he did it for them, before Sakura could be hurt again, but the old saying 'a day late and a dollar short' always seems to find Sakura. He watched the accident happen.

Sasuke was waking up, and Sakura eyes lit up as they had before the diabolical events called 'Ruin Sakura's Life' took fruition. He could see Sasuke breathing in deeply, as he took in his surroundings. He looked at Sakura whose smile was contagious when she was with others. He, Sasuke, or even Ibiki for that matter were not immune.

Sasuke was smiling brightly, though he blamed the anesthesia on that farce. He saw him reach up gently running the back of his hand along her cheek. He scowled "Undeserving bastard," he muttered.

His lips began moving. 'Its you.' he saw Sasuke mouth out as he read his lips.

'Yes,' Sakura answered. 'How do you feel?'

'Better now that you're at my side.' Sakura reached to hold his hand that was strumming her cheek and kissed the inside of his palm.

'I love you.'

Sakura eyes filled with tears at his words. Neji shook his head, she hadn't noticed that Sasuke's eyes were so dilated that he was talking out of his head, but she got the message loud in clear with what happened next.

'I love you…I love you Ino.'

He saw a weight of hurt, anger, and humiliation fall on Sakura as the name of her rival fell from his lips. She dropped his hand, and buttoned her lips to keep the tears away. She pulled away from him, and not a moment too soon. The fiancé was coming. Ino was at the door as Sakura was coming out. Their eyes met, Ino was tried to greet Sakura warmly by asking Sasuke's condition.

Sakura's stance had tensed, and her fist visibly clenched. "You're a medic see for yourself," she told the other woman coolly. Ino tried to keep her gaze on Sakura, but fell to her intimidating stare. Sakura sidestepped to allow Ino, entrance.

Sakura knew she shouldn't have turned to look, but she couldn't help herself. She saw the embrace and a tender kiss of the lovers. She didn't know which she hated more them, or herself. Walking away quickly she saw most of the ER staff eyeing her through hooded eyes.

"If any of you do not fancy going back to Konohagakure Hospital, I suggest you keep your eyes on your work." The snapping whip of her voice, made them scurry like ants.

Neji saw her retreat back to her office. He gave one more glace at Sasuke; he was now awake, so technically his mandate was over. Abandoning his post he went to her office, and without knocking, he slipped in. He found her sitting on her desk looking out the window, of her darkened office. The only light was the streetlight, which shined through the window.

"Go ahead," she said knowing it was Neji who entered. "Say it, say I told you so."

"You set yourself up for it Sakura. You're a medic, and the moment you lost your objectivity, is the moment you lost sight of what should have been obvious to any medic," he said sitting next to her on the desk.

"I know, I just… I just…I don't know."

Neji put an arm around her shoulder bringing the nearly sobbing woman toward him. Being a full head and shoulder taller than her, her head met his pectoral muscle. He knew she was crying now by the slight shake in her shoulders.

'I feel so pathetic,' Sakura thought. 'Not only did I humiliate myself, I'm showing weakness by displaying emotions to one of the most respected shinobi in Konoha.' She hated showing weakness it reminded her too much of her past and how weak she truly was. Yet, she felt so beaten in the last few weeks it was nice leaning on someone else other than Kakashi, Tsunade, and Shizune.

It felt good just to be held. She had wishes of Sasuke holding her like this. As soon as the thought of Sasuke came in mind, she pushed away from Neji. Standing she started to wipe her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she started. "I shouldn't have dumped this on you."

He reached his gloved hand for her smaller ones. "Don't be, were all human Sakura. We're not made of steel no matter how unemotional we may seem."

Sakura let another tear escape. Somehow, that made her feel a bit better. It wasn't forced, fake, or artificial. He was being genuine. Her thoughts were broken when she felt a gloved thumb wipe her tears. She gasped at the intimate gesture, darting her eyes up to his. She hadn't noticed he had removed his mask.

Their eyes met his veiled and dark but warm, hers startled and wide and afraid, of the look he was giving her. Even with his silver white iris, his eyes were smoldering. The hand that had wiped her tears found its way under her chin, tilting her head up even further. His head was slowly descending on to hers.

Sakura mind was working overtime. 'He's going to kiss me.' He's getting close.

'Do I want him to kiss me?' He's getting closer.

'It'll make me forget for a moment.' He's extremely close.

She closed her eyes, welcoming the slight less pain in her heart, but as soon as she did that a picture of Sasuke and Ino flashed into her mind; Only Sasuke suddenly morphed into Neji, and holding Ino. She turned her head letting his lips meet the side of her cheek.

"Sorry," She said.

"That's okay," he said turning to leave the office. He knew she was uncomfortable, and sought to her comfort. He picked up his mask walking to the door.

Sakura somehow felt guilty for leaving him hanging. It wasn't his fault she was a basket case. "Neji," she called.

He stopped and turned to her. "Neji I'm just not ready."

Neji walked back toward her grasping her hand once more. "I know, but hopefully someday you will be." Letting go he put his mask on, before leaving. "Good night Sakura."

She wrapped her arms about her. "Oh Neji, don't count on it."

* * *

Sakura had slept in her office last night and all she could think about was almost happened, and the flash of Ino turning up in her mind.

It was 8 am and she had a horde of ANBU on her hands. More like big babies to her. They didn't like to be in hospitals, and they didn't like pretty nurses fawning over them. So she wanted to get them out quick, they tended to make the other patients nervous.

Quickly running a comb through her hair, she left her office only to run into Ino. 'Damn it; it's too early in the morning to be dealing with this,' she thought angrily.

"Don't you have a job and a hospital to run," she asked her acidly.

"Well you didn't leave much for me there so I'm staying until Sasuke is discharged."

Sakura ignored her and walk to the front desk grabbing Sasuke's chart. She quickly wrote a note recommending Sasuke be moved to Konohagakure Hospital under Ino's care. She told her nurse she wanted this to happen ASAP. She went to Sasuke's room and gave Ino the chart.

"You can't have him moved!" Ino knew Sakura was a better medic and she wanted the best care for him even if it was her former friend.

"Watch me."

"Sakura, please you can't. He's too critical." She knew Sakura hated her, but to move Sasuke in his condition was dangerous.

"Ino you're very unlikely to discover this for yourself, but I am a much better medic than you. If I felt his life was in any danger, I would keep him here and suffer your presence, but sense he's not he'll be moved under your care," She beamed giving her fake smile.

"This isn't about who the better medic is, or about Sasuke being well enough to move. You just don't want me here."

"Well look who finally caught up."

Ino tried to give Sakura space, tried to apologize on numerous occasions, and tried to mend fences. Well she was tired now. She didn't know how many she'd have to say 'I'm sorry' to make her understand she didn't mean to hurt her.

"Damn it Sakura I'm sorry, how many times must I tell you that," she pleaded.

"You're sorry; please forgive me if I don't believe that, after you stood by for a year and ½ laughing, and smiling in my face the whole time lying." She didn't mean for them to come to this point, but it was hard to avoid when people were in pain. Emotional pain is the hardest to contain, and hardest to suppress.

"Ino you could've had guy you wanted; why Sasuke? Why my dream?" Before Ino could say, anything two orderlies came through the door with a gurney ready to move Sasuke.

"That's won't be, necessary, he's staying. Thanks for being so prompt, but you're no longer required," Sakura said.

The two guys left, leaving the three alone.

"Sakura," Ino called out brokenly.

"You say you're sorry. You say you didn't set out to hurt me, but you did."

Ino listened to Sakura as her back was turned toward the door. Never in the many years that she had known Sakura had she ever sound so defeated. She heard her sounding hurt, sad, but never like this.

"I'm tired, so tired of the one not good enough, the one left behind. And the one who no matter how hard I work, and no matter how hard I love I still lose," she said bearing herself to Ino. She was once a dear friend so bearing her soul to Ino seemed the most natural thing in the world.

"I'm tired of fighting the way things are, and not what I want them to be."

Sakura wouldn't cry. She was all cried out over Sasuke. She knew no matter how many tears she shed, or how hard she cried nothing would change. She moved to the door. She stopped taking a deep breath. She put her feelings aside.

"Take care of him, he needs someone to take care of him now." She whispered loud enough for Ino to hear.

Sakura locked her office, scrubbed her name of today's schedule roster, and began the long walk home.

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**A/N: DID THIS SEEM ONE STEP FORWARD, AND TWO STEPS BACK, OR WAS IT THE FIRST SIGNS OF LETTING? I CAN'T DECIDE**


	7. Chapter 7

**I know, it has been a _long_ while, and I'm sorry, I truly am. I just hope you guys still want to read this story. **

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Although it was summer in the Hidden Leaf Village, the weather was quite mild; a break from the usual scorching summers in _Konoha_. It felt like spring. It was the perfect weather for the upcoming nuptials, and Sasuke was sparing no expense.

The village was in an uproar, the townsfolk were scurrying around to do Ino's bidding. You see the wedding was quickly approaching. I knew this because the people who are making preparations for it would discreetly cease their work; when I'm in the vicinity. They would give me their pitying glances, and then gossip about how sorry they felt for me; when they thought I was out of hearing range.

Some mothers saw it as an opportunity to introduce their sons, while feudal lords wish to tie their names to the Hokage's one time apprentice and surrogate daughter. It was all for political gain, of course. Even my friends, would try to set me up on dates. What's worse is that submissive women offer themselves to me; wanting me to take on the role as their dominatrix mistress. Lady Tsunade had a good laugh about it. She told me not to worry about such things as she, and Anko had been approached by those same women. I had to admit after awhile even I started to laugh at it. It was one I really needed in spite of everything.

Hokage Mountain is the only place I find relief from the happenings in the village. Even in my clinic I find no solace; it was now tainted now by the lingering presence of the mere memory of the couple.

I hadn't been back since that day. It was only when Naruto braved the waters and broke into my home did I face the world again. I loved my brother Naruto, but on that day I didn't want to hear his testimony, but if it gave me the lift I needed; I was all for it. Somehow Naruto's words can shine through any darkness. No matter how Naruto acted most of the time, his heart which always backed up his words got through to those who listened, even Sasuke; although it took a while for the message to reach him. Now it was my turn.

_Flashback_

_Most times all I had to do to distract Naruto was; to fix him a bowl of Ramen, but not today. Yes he ate the bowl, but that didn't deter from his task. He sat there with his arms folded across his chest, with a deep concentrated indent in his brow before he spoke. "Don't get stuck."_

_I blinked once, then a second time. 'That's it.' I thought. 'That's all I get. I wanted the grandeur speeches he gave to others, and "don't get stuck" was all I received,' thinking bitterly._

"_Thanks I guess," I mumbled bitterly. "That was enlightening," I replied sarcastically. I heard him sigh._

"_Sakura what I mean is…" came his soft more reserved voice. "Everything doesn't work out the way we planned, or how we want it. Bad things happen Sakura sometimes there are no reasons for it, but don't stay focused on the one mishap. You get mad, you scream, you cry, and you grieve about it, but you can't stay there." _

_I immediately started to protest, but Naruto wasn't having any of it. Naruto pinned me with a hard glare, and if I was honest with myself this would be the first true time I felt a smidge of fear from Naruto's glare. _

"_Just listen," he said. He looked pensive, as if he was debating if he should say something or not, rightfully so as I soon discovered._

"_You know I love the old lady, right." I nodded knowing he was referring to my mentor and his sometimes tormentor. _

"_Sakura like you she fell in love, but he was a shinobi first and he died in the line of duty, not only that she also lost her younger brother he too died. In their death time began to stand still for her. She never got over it, and she couldn't move beyond that point in life. She spent her days mourning instead of looking at what's right in front of her." Naruto reached his hand over engulfing my smaller one, and looked at me with pleading eyes._

"_Don't get stuck Sakura, and forget to leave the door open for someone else who's knocking." _

_I closed my eyes, willing the tears away, at Naruto words. 'Naruto,' I thought. 'Naruto always tells the truth, even if the truth is horrifying, he'd tell you. I knew the Toad Sage Jiraiya had a thing for my mentor, but he chalked it up to being a pervert. Yet I never knew of her lost love or brother in retrospect our situations are similar, except all she has are memories, and I have a constant reminder of what I've lost. But he had a point._

_I wonder when had my best friend had grown up. I turned my attention back to him and thought; maybe not as grownup as I thought, as I looked as at him scarfing down my untouched bowl of ramen._

_End Flashback_

Naruto words rang true in my head, but the heart is a different matter altogether. Trying to let go is hard enough, but starting over after your heart has been put through a meat grinder is unlikely. It isn't a sparring match where if you fail; you just simply pick yourself up, shake it off, and try again. My heart just got off life-support, and not eager to go through another trauma.

I admit I've had some good days and days that aren't so good. Naruto, Kakashi, Lady Tsunade, Shizune, and even Sai made me feel like I wasn't alone. I'm doing my best to move on; yet at times when I'm sitting at home the reality of my situation sneaks up on me and I would begin to cry sometimes not stopping for hours. I don't know if it's my humiliation or my broken heart or if it's a mixture of both that has me in tears.

I was surprised Lee wasn't busting down my door with declarations of undying love of youth, when word got around. Well until I discovered he had paired off with nice civilian girl. He seemed everyone had paired off; Kakashi, and Shizune, Sasuke and Ino, Shikamaru and Temari, Kiba after he found his crush on Hinata was unrequited he started dating a shy younger kunoichi that graduated a year after they did. What's more surprising was TenTen who was now dating the ever elusive Shino. I was quite sure she and Neji would have hooked up; then again Neji was too busy trying to pry Naruto away from Hinata.

I smiled at the thought of Neji's vain attempts at scaring Naruto off. Naruto is probably the only person oblivious to the deadly glares Neji is always sending him. Naruto and Hinata went on a date to the ramen stand and Neji followed making sure Naruto wasn't trying to corrupt his younger cousin. Yet, poor Naruto waved enthusiastically at the other man and even invited him to join them; he even took liberties at ordering Butter Corn Ramen which Neji was allergic too. When Neji found Naruto went back to his own bowls, he glared at the offending bowl in front of him as if it would scurry away like a frightened enemy.

I smiled at the amusement of the memory. I wondered if he glares at any of his other meals that way. Neji has been on my mind lately. After what happened in the hospital; he's been a constant fixture in my mind, and in my life. He has started appearing at my most vulnerable times. He always seems to be there when other men eyed me with interest at eateries. He would come and just sit the table I occupied, or sit on the stool next to me in a bar. He never engaged me in small talk, and for that I was grateful. Sometimes mothers would try to ambush me and Neji would appear, and guide me away with his hands on the small of my back. Those intimate gestures keep the mothers and other men at bay sometimes. Neji had made his intentions clear that night at the hospital.

Neji was attractive that much was certain, and I was attracted to him; what female wouldn't be. Plus I hadn't been this strongly attracted to any guy, since Kankuro, after saving him. This attraction wasn't my adolescent attraction that grew into the deep love I have for Sasuke. But my attraction to Neji somehow seemed different.

I sometimes catch myself wondering about him; like what he does for fun besides plotting Naruto's demise. More importantly how can I get my hair to be that silky and shiny? If anyone knew Neji let me touch his hair, they'd call me a liar.

The memory of Neji sneaking into my tent while on a mission asking me to braid his hair; because he had lost his hair tie in battle earlier that day. His hair would be a hindrance, if we were to engage in another battle. I was marveled and envious at its sleekness; especially since we hadn't had lodging in almost six days. Yes Neji was growing on me, but opening the door to someone else seemed like an invitation to more pain on down the line.

Yet, I like the way he makes me feel, when I'm down, and he knows when not to speak; just having his presence was calming. Although Sasuke is quiet, you had the feeling if you moved he'd snap. The ultimate question is; do I want to go there with Neji? There are so many possibilities with starting again, after loving only one for so long. Would I forever compare him to Sasuke? Better yet, would I be able to fully give my all to another person again. Could I give Neji a chance?

Sighing at my dilemma I turned and leaned my back against the railing. For some reason my eyes drifted to the carved faces of the Hokages. At the very top of the head of Second Hokage Senju Tobirama, sat the man that has invading my thoughts.

He looked to be meditating.

* * *

My eyes snapped opened, after I felt someone's eyes on me.

'Sakura,' I thought. I gave a brief nod and continued with my morning meditation; well at least I tried to. Sakura, the cherry blossom of Konoha, has been a distraction in my thoughts for almost three year now. I mean I've always noticed her; she had pink hair, who doesn't notice that.

In the beginning I didn't think she was worth my time, because of her lack of fighting skills; add that to the fact she was the typical 12-year-old fangirl. It was her teammates that held my interest, Sasuke in particular. However, Naruto made me take notice of him during the finals. I still think it was a fluke that he beat me. Yet Sakura didn't peak my interest until, I saw her at my Jonin examination. She tended to my wounds after several matches with other competitors. I noticed she didn't take as much time as her counterparts took, in healing. A medic-nin was an admirable position; after all they are the ones that keep ninjas in working conditions. If not for medic-nins a lot of us would have career ending injuries, or we would have paid the ultimate price for our villages on the unforgiving forest floor.

It wasn't until later that I found out she was the Hokage's apprentice. That too is when others started to take notice of Sakura as well. Shinobi and civilian alike wondered; how could she possibly take being in the presence of the ill-tempered woman, for over an extended amount of time. As I got to know Sakura, I began to understand that the shy 12-year-old personality was a façade. Underneath there was a female just as bullheaded as her mentor.

As the danger grew over the years Sakura had accompanied Team Gai on many missions. I was impressed by her performances as a kunoichi and medic. I even got a firsthand experience, on how impressive she was.

I have always considered myself well in control of my emotions, and I'm naturally passive; but she saw through it. While on a mission it became my turn to take watch. She sleepily approached me and without a word she brought her green hued hands directly towards my injury. I didn't say anything because I was surprised that she even knew. And as quickly as she appeared she was gone, whispering only good night. This pattern continued for some time. She would always come and go without a word; except goodnight. She never mentioned it, and it always stayed between us. It wasn't until later missions; my curiosity got the better of me. I ask why and how she knew. She only smiled and said 'Kakashi was my sensei.'

Surprisingly I understood. Kakashi was notorious for not getting his wounds treated, and putting on a calm demeanor while he was injured. She had to have studied him a long time to be able to tell. She told me Kakashi and I was similar in that aspect.

My admiration for her grew even more, and soon she had become my medic of choice. Other medics saw it as an invitation; if I had let them heal me. A lot of civilian medic women thought it was a 'walk on the wild side' if they managed to get a brooding shinobi to their beds. I could never take those kinds of women to bed; they would undoubtedly go tell anyone who would listen. Sakura however kept a friendly professional relationship with all shinobi. Many have tried to coax her to their beds, but her love for Sasuke wouldn't allow room for another man; even temporarily. Although I thought her loyalty to the traitorous Uchiha was sorely misplaced, I respected her loyalty. Yet, after a while I found myself annoyed by it.

I watch as she shot down guy after guy, even some guys who went back for a second helping, and even thirds. I found myself angry with her, refusing everyone's advances, for a traitor. I started to see her as a traitor, but it wasn't until she agreed to a date with Lee that I found out why I felt; bitterness and anger towards her. Out of all people to point out I was jealous, it was Gai. He didn't come out and say I was jealous he said; _"Your feelings of youth, has caught up with your manly body. Now you are envious that only one has succeeded, where others have failed their missions."_

Over the years I've learned, to speak Gai and Lee. So in other words I was jealous of Lee, because he was out with Sakura. What was even more horrifying I was jealous of Uchiha, because he more than anyone had Sakura; her unwavering loyalty, her love, her everything. When I discovered this about myself, I couldn't help but wonder; when had things changed.

In the weeks that came, I tried to block that little epiphany from my mind; but I underestimated the pull of the pink haired female. I accepted the fact that she was attractive, and I was attracted to her. What I couldn't accept is my thinking of her at the oddest moments. During breakfast, I wondered did she eat a traditional Japanese breakfast, like I did, or what she was eating. Even my memories of her started to become a nuisance; one memory in particular stood out. I was in the shower once and I stared working the shampoo through my ebony locks, when I thought back to the time she braided my hair. As I continued to reflect on the memory my thoughts strayed to her being in the shower…wet; with her hands laced in her hair, and suds trickling down her body. Needless to say I earned myself a cold shower. In fact cold showers had become a constant, whenever my thoughts strayed with less than savory thoughts of Sakura.

I was harboring real feelings for Sakura, but knew she would reject my advances. Most guys just wanted a tumble in the sheets, but I would attempt to do what others had not. I would make friends with Sakura hoping maybe I could build from that friendship to something more. I made an effort to communicate with Sakura on a daily basis, and earn her friendship. About a month after that, I began to let her seek me out instead of me finding her. She had sought me out on occasions, without realizing she was even doing it. We had got close, but not as close as she and Naruto obviously, but close enough.

I had attended to ask her out, but war rained down upon us. In war you're never too sure if you'll survive, so getting into a relationship wasn't the greatest idea, at the time. Still throughout the war I watched her care for her friends, and those who were entrusted to her care. I also watched her fight for Naruto and the Uchiha. I watched her give her life away so we could have a fighting chance, against the legendary Madara Uchiha. That's when I knew. She was truly one of a kind. She wasn't the most beautiful, she didn't have a large bust like some of the other _kunoichis, and_ she isn't as powerful as Naruto, or the Uchiha; but as a woman she was perfection.

When the Uchiha was welcomed back, I knew Sakura was off limits. Her sights were set firmly on Sasuke. Any fool could see she loved him. I knew it would only be a matter of time before he claimed her; he would be an idiot not to. He was a lucky man, not only was he welcomed back, he also had an amazing woman with a beautiful soul willing to love him unconditionally. In the coming year, I watched Sakura, willing to forgive his transgressions. She gave him space and waited patiently for him to be ready; but as I studied the man one night I knew she would be waiting a long time. The Uchiha showed clearly through his eyes, that he didn't love her; at least not in a romantic sense. I thought to myself he'll come around. Yet that was before a couple of months ago.

I spotted him and an unknown woman in an extremely friendly embrace. Usually I wouldn't think anything of it, but this was the Uchiha; and he didn't hug. Of course it could have been an overzealous fangirl attacking, but he hugged her back. Usually nothing ever shocked me, but they engaged in a kiss; a kiss that in no way said 'we are just friends'.

What really got me was the identity of the woman. I sat in my hiding spot hoping for Sakura's sake this was just a passing desire Sasuke had. Yet, as I watched I could tell it was not, by the familiarity they had with one another. As I sat there, half a dozen thoughts ran through my mind.

_The first one was: How could he pass on Sakura?_

_Two: How long had this tryst been going on?_

_Three: How would Sakura take it?_

_Four: How could a person do this to their self-proclaimed best friend?_

_Five: How long would it take me to kick the Uchiha's ass?_

_Six: Did I still have chance to win Sakura's affections?_

I don't know why but I couldn't tear myself away from the scene before me. I listen as an argument started between them. I could vaguely make out the words 'tell Sakura' from Ino, but the Uchiha shook his head no. At least the both had the decency to look remorseful.

Yes I knew about the relationship. Yes my gut clenched with guilt every time I talked to her, but this wasn't my secret to tell. Even if I told her, I'm pretty sure she would have called me a liar. It broke me each time I saw the love, and hope in her eyes when Uchiha was around; knowing she was headed to heartbreak. I just sat back, waiting for this disaster to happen, and happen it did. That idiot took out a full ad in the Konoha newspaper. The article created a firestorm of rumors, and Sakura is in the middle getting heavily burned.

After everything came out, I had no idea what to do for her. Sakura was my friend, but I didn't think I was a close enough friend to invade at that time. I left in the hands of the one's closest to her. I gave her the space, but that night at the hospital, I went for it. I needed her to know Uchiha wasn't the only guy in the world, but all I did was make her uncomfortable. In reality I just wanted her to see what had been in front of her the whole time. After she shied away from the kiss, I immediately back peddled. She wasn't ready, so I took the stance of just being a friend again. I would just be what she needed and nothing more, until she tells me otherwise.

Opening my eyes I saw she was still watching.

* * *

Neji got up, and leapt with regal grace to the ground where Sakura stood. "Sakura," he greeted.

"Neji, I'm sorry I didn't mean to distract you from your meditation," she said feeling guilty. He had been looking out for her, and the moment he finds a moment to himself, she interrupts.

"It's fine really," he said waving away her apology. For a moment neither of them said anything. The uncomfortable silence went on for a few seconds, until Sakura murmured that she need to go, and that she had a million things to do.

Neji just nodded, because he knew she was uncomfortable, but he wasn't ready for her to leave yet. As she was nearing the metal stairs he shouted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Sakura do you mind having a midday meal with me?"

'Midday meal?' he thought. 'Who says that,' feeling a bit embarrassed.

Sakura turned swiftly making a few locks of hair fall into her face. Taking her hand, she swiped the loose hair behind her ear. She smiled at the calm look on Neji's face, but knew he was anything but calm. She knew he was self-conscious about his abrupt inquire.

She didn't know why, but she wanted to go, just not to eat. But she wanted to go with Neji.

"Yeah, ok."

Neji stopped the smile from forming on his face. He walked to meet her on the stairs, as they made the trek down the mountain.

Neji decided to take her to her favorite lunch restaurant, but he was immediately stopped at the door, by the owner.

"Sorry sir, but this a private luncheon, it's by invitation only," he said.

Neji, just nodded, he didn't care that much as long as he was with Sakura. He turned to see Sakura gazing through the window of the establishment. He could tell something was wrong, by the haunted look in her eyes.

"Sakura?" he called attentively. She turned to look at Neji, and he knew lunch today wasn't going to happen.

"Sorry Neji, maybe some other time," she said sincerely. They fell into another silence. Again it was Sakura who murmured her goodbye.

"Excuse me, I got to go vomit," she said retreating toward her home.

Neji watched her leave, before bowing his head in disappointment. He was looked through the window to see what caused Sakura's change in attitude.

He sighed mentally. Inside was Ino, Hinata, TenTen, Temari, Ino's mother, and a host of other females. Even Lady Tsunade and Shizune was there, but at least they were off to the side clearly there as spectators for Ino's bridal shower. All of a sudden he wasn't hungry anymore.

Sakura walked back to her home, after watching the happiness that went on in the restaurant. She felt the tear gathering, but they didn't fall. She had walked into an engagement party, and almost into a bridal shower. Ino was living her dream, and it hurt. Yet, she didn't feel the intense sting of hurt as before. It didn't hurt as much, as it should have.

* * *

**Okay that's the new chapter. Did I go to fast with feelings? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!**


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